Although I decided to stay with the children at home until they get 4 years, I still need to have my moments alone. Just me! To escape!
In order to be in a good shape, physically and mentally, to be able to cope with them, (who has a 3-4-year-old baby knows what I’m talking about), I have to take care of myself.
What can I do about that?
I escape! Go out!
I leave the house :). Get some fresh air, and breathe! In some other words…”I escape”!
But before I do this, I follow some simple, but necessary steps, good for everyone. There are steps I’ve tested, it works, at least for me. In some other way, it can work for you too.
Do not ever try to leave without telling them.
If you want to be an easy “escape”, the children need to know what’s going on, even it’s good or bad.
We often avoid doing this, thinking they are too young and can not assimilate such information. But here we underestimate them.
As they grow up, especially after 3 years, I tried as much as I could to explain to them what is going to happen.
When I decide to leave home, I tell them where I leave, when, how long will it take and why. Although in the first place they will look dissatisfied and unhappy, the little speculators will try all their weapons to oppose. They start to cry or to hang on to me, not to go. It is normal and natural for this to happen.
Children start to experience various emotions after their first three years. They don’t know how to manage all these emotions. And now, we, the parents, help them identify their emotions to become aware of them: nervousness, anger, dissatisfaction, anxiety, but also those of joy and happiness.
Explain to children clearly your little “escape”
I make them aware of my intentions. I try to explain to them clearly that I’m also a person with his own needs.
The words: “if you want the child to be ok, you, as a parent should be ok”, we all know it, but how many of us are aware of it and take action?
Of course, the feeling of guilt comes in every time. I have lived this feeling and I still live it, but I am struggling and forced to get rid of it. Every time seems to be very difficult. The child knows all your feelings, so it should be better for him to feel that you care about yourself first and then for him.
“Let them breathe and take a break”
They have to see me as a self-standing person, who does something else besides taking care of them.
The child should also be used to stay with other adults.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, anyone close to you. The child will feel safe and will feel your absence better.
Children will get used to that easily and adapt if they know the facts. I’ve said it before, and I keep saying it!
It’s not easy. But through exercise, it can become easier.
You just need to detach, mentally, for a while, removing guilt and the rest will come by itself.
Now I need to escape and go out, to take care of myself. Don’t forget to do the same!